The Bride's Room
by Oh My Freakin' Freakin
Summary: It's the day of Twilight Sparkle's wedding, and everypony in Equestria seems to be passing through her dressing room. Not a shipfic, mostly an exercise in cramming as many characters as possible into one fanfic.


Twilight Sparkle beamed at the mirror, adjusting her veil with one last flourish of glowing pink magic.

Behind her, Shining Armor struggled for words.

"Twi, I'm really happy for you-" he started.

Twilight sighed. "But?" she prompted.

"I wasn't going to add a but!" Shining Armor protested. "I'm really happy for you."

Twilight looked in the mirror, and waited.

"But-"

She sighed, and turned around to face him. "I thought there wasn't going to be a but?" She asked acidly, and regretted it instantly. He was her BBBFF, after all, and he only wanted what was best for her. But if what he thought was best for her wasn't where her heart was... she turned away from him. "Look, big brother," she said quietly. "I've always loved you and looked up to you, but if this is because you don't want your little sister marrying another mare-"

"It's not that, Twiley." Shining Armor seemed hurt. "You're my sister, and I love you for who you are, and nothing could ever, EVER, change that."

Twilight smiled at him in the mirror. "Thank you, big brother," she said softly. A silence of understanding passed in the bride's dressing room, and then Twilight teased her BBBFF: "_...But?_"

"But I just don't know what you see in her," Armor confessed, relieved to be given permission to speak his mind. "She's everything that you aren't!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. She had only heard this already from everypony in Equestria. She loved her big brother, but it was time to start ushering him out of the room.

"She's everything that I'm not," Twilight repeated, smiling blissfully. "And that's exactly what I see in her."

"But that makes no-"

"You know," Twilight said brightly, using her horn to rearrange her bouquet, "I read in a book that people should marry their opposites."

"Well, that's great, but-"

Twilight turned to her brother with a wide, bright smile. "The same book also had some very interesting things to say on the topic of sexual deviation's role in a healthy relationship. It has diagrams, too. Would you like to see them? I'm sure Cadence would-"

"I would love to continue this conversation later," Shining Armor said loudly, backing away, "But I can't because I have very important things that need doing like _right now_ loveyoubye."

He sped out the door, leaving a dust trail in his wake.

Twilight waited a few seconds, and then rapped a hoof against the side of a large ornament urn. "Coast's clear," she said.

Rainbow Dash rocketed out of the urn, gasping to fill her lungs.

"_Finally_," she said. "I thought he would never leave."

"It's bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day before the wedding, you know," Twilight said mildly, trotting over to adjust her veil in the mirror yet again.

"Well, then cover your eyes," Rainbow snapped, folding her front legs as she hovered. "I'm the bride here too, ya know."

"Fine, fine," Twilight rolled her eyes and smiled. She brushed her mane out in the mirror and sighed happily. "You know, I always dreamed about my wedding day, but I never imagined it would be like this."

Rainbow Dash sighed, and hung her head. She'd gotten this speech twenty times in the past three days.

Oblivious, Twilight trotted over to consult a checklist on the opposite wall. "And I mean, YOU! of all people!" she laughed and behind her, Rainbow Dash mouthed along with her words. Twilight held out one hoof in front of her, and Rainbow Dash mimicked her perfectly, though the two mares were facing in opposite directions. "You're the athletic, brash, rough-mannered sky star," Twilight continued, "and I'm the bookish, well-organized, polite city gal." She held out another hoof and pressed the two of them together. She giggled, flopping over onto her back to look up at Rainbow Dash. "I mean, it's like something out of the sordid paperback romances that I keep hidden behind my reference books!"

Rainbow Dash turned around to look down at her. "Look, Twi, not that I don't think this is romantic and all-"

"And yet, together, we find in each other our opposites and our completion, our ying and our yang-"

"Twi," Dash interrupted, "You've been through all this before."

"-and true love. Isn't it just-"

Rainbow Dash leaned over and kissed Twilight on the lips. Twilight's eyes widened, and she stopped talking.

Rainbow Dash sat down, looking at her hooves. "Breaking the sound barrier, saving ponies from certain death, shutting up Twilight Sparkle..." she beamed. "Is there _anything_ this pony can't do?"

"Buh," Twilight said, her eyes reeling. She blinked, and recovered. "Don't get ahead of yourself," she warned, smiling.

"Anyhoo," Rainbow Dash said, standing up. "I have to go get into my gown. See ya in the chapel."

She trotted out the door, then turned around and came trotting back again.

"About what you were saying earlier, Twi..." Rainbow said conversationally, crossing the room to Twilight. She smiled mischievously. "About sexual deviation?"

Twilight smirked. "Save it for the honeymoon, Dasho," she advised. "If I get sweaty before I have to put on my gown, Rarity will kill me."

"_Shh_," Rainbow hissed, sticking a hoof over Twilight's mouth and looking around wild-eyed. "_Don't say her name-_"

It was too late. The summoning was already complete. A mound of ribbons and flowers tottered through the door.

"No, no, Sweetie Belle," the mound was saying to one of three smaller mounds stumbling along behind it. "We _never_ pair velvet and roses." Bits of the mound began to drift off and arrange themselves into tasteful little bouquets, lifted by clouds of light blue magic, and Rainbow Dash looked desperately around for a place to hide. "We pair roses with silk, or with satin. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Rarity," the little mound chimed obediently as it walked into a wall. The two mounds behind it tripped over it, sending bouquet-bits flying.

Apple Bloom poked her head up from the rubble. "Way to _go_, Sweetie Belle," she said.

"Yeah," said Scootaloo, popping up next to Apple Bloom. "Way to- _ohmygosh_, Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash, who had been trying to tiptoe past Rarity before the bouquets cleared from the unicorn's vision, froze. "Uh," she said. "Hi."

"_Ohmygoshohmygosh_," Scootaloo repeated, bounding over to lean against Rainbow. "So, you're getting married, huh?" She asked, beaming up at her hero with all the adorableness she could muster. "Any chance you and your lovely bride would be interested in adopting a filly?"

"_Rainbow Dash_!" Rarity bellowed, with an explosion of white roses and lavender ribbons. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding! I _told _you to stay out of her dressing room! She's not even dressed!"

"C'mon, Rarity," Rainbow Dash scoffed. "It's nothing I haven't seen before. I don't want to break it to you, but Ponyville is a clothes-optional community."

"It's still bad luck to see the bride," Rarity said primly. "Get out. Get _out_ get _out_ get _OUT_!" She leaned her entire weight into Rainbow Dash, who grudgingly allowed herself to be pushed out the door.

"I'm the bride too, ya know," Dash snapped.

"And clean yourself up before you get in your gown," Rarity ordered, and slammed the door shut. She exhaled. "Well," she said calmly, trotting over to Twilight Sparkle. "Now we can get down to business."


End file.
